she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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