We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
