I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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