How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
