I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
