The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
