so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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