I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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