What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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