So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
