Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
