So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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