i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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