Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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