nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize