I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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