ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
