yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
