Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
