Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize