If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
