I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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