so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
