I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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