So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
