I love black thongs
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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