So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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