This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
