it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He shit in the fireplace
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
