Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
