People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You're like the curious george of whores
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize