I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
