I need help removing her.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
