btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
PANTIES FOUND
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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