New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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