Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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