I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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