I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So much rum. So many feels.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
