My friends, they love my intelligence
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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