I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
