I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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