Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
