Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
