hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my being single is dangerous.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
