We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
