come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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