I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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