I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
