I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it's not cheating when I paid for it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
