so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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