Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
