i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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