my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
