i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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