How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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