I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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