How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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