a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
