I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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