Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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