First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
